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Messing about with rubber....

Hello my lovely readers,

Being the little minx that I am, I am going to share this very brief but true story with you which happened about three to four years ago.

One Friday night I met up with two of my besties, Stacey and Hannah for a meal and a few drinks in our J.D. Wetherspoons. After our typical but nevertheless, enjoyable choices of the ‘pub grub’ on offer and a few jugs of Pimms to accompany it, we made our way upstairs to use the ladies ‘facilities’. Having noticed how deserted the bathroom looked, we continued the catch-up chatter from our cubicles for a minute until Stacey interrupted,

“Don’t let me leave here without getting some condoms from the machine!”

Minutes later, and drying our hands on our denims as the hand blow dryers had, as usual, been totally ineffective, we engaged in some hilarious explicit banter about ribbed and dotted, ultra-thin feel, coloured, and our favourite flavours for a bedtime ‘feast’. Hannah and myself were aching with laughter as Stacey made her choice and dropped her coins into the machine. Suddenly, the familiar sound of a toilet being flushed came from somewhere behind, stopping us dead in our tracks, and a lady emerged from the cubicle in the furthest corner.

We all stood there, open-mouthed and somewhat embarrassed for a few seconds. As the lady started washing her hands, she grinned.

“Please don’t stop on my account ladies, that was the most enlightening visit to the loo I’ve ever experienced!”

Back at our table minutes later, and with our drinks replenished, Stacey busied herself texting her husband. Just as I was about to take a sip at my Pimms, curiosity got the better of me.

“Anyway Stace, you’ve had an hysterectomy…and you’re married! So what the hell are you doing buying condoms? Are you having an affair or something?” Hannah and I grinned and gulped greedily at our drinks, not expecting a reply from a very engrossed Stacey. She never even looked up.

“No!” came her extremely casual retort “I just HATE fucking mess!” There followed a fine spray of Pimms from Hannah and I as we nearly choked with laughter, mostly at the serious expression on Stacey’s face as she finally glanced up at us, her messaging finished!

The word ‘condom’ always brings a smile to my face these days!

Ciao for now, take care

Eva xxx

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