A review? How rude!!!
A BIG Hi to you all,
A very Happy Thursday and I sincerely hope it’s been a good one for you!
I would like to talk about book reviews today - a topic that causes us authors ongoing frustration at times. How many times has someone actually come up to you and said “I loved your book, fantastic read!” You then ask them if they would care to leave a review on Amazon! “Oh yes, no problem!” But does that review ever appear? Even after you bump into that person again and they hit you with, “Oh, I haven’t forgotten about that review…I’ll do it this weekend!” Time and again I get this but that all important review never materialises. Yes…it’s frustrating as fuck, isn’t it??? Anyway, enough on that aspect!
It’s interesting when I’m on Eva’s Facebook page as I often get men who are reading my books sending me a friend request and/or private messaging me. I have to say, that as an erotica author, I am not shocked anymore when I receive a ‘dick pic’ from a guy. I guess that kind of goes with the territory and rather than block the sender these days, I have my fun first! “Haha! Call that a dick?” is my usual reply.
Getting swiftly back to the point with this, quite a few months back, I was befriended by a guy on Facebook who sent me a message to tell me that he had purchased my books. Over the weeks we have indulged in some funny conversations and in general he’s a really lovely guy! Last night we were chatting as usual and at one stage of the conversation he announced,
“Oh Eva, meant to tell you, I’ve finished your first book!”
“Hope you enjoyed it? Would you mind leaving a review on Amazon please?”
“It’ll be my pleasure! I may have to edit a few times to get it right though! Okay?”
“Yes, that’s fine! And thank you so much!”
There followed several drafts that had me literally ROFLMFAO or PMSL!! Here they are as follows:-
First draft: "cock expanding page turner"
Second draft: "Were it not a gift I doubt if I would have read this novel. The author knows how to tell a story clearly and without over complicating things. If the author's sexual appetite and preferences are remotely like those of her protagonist then she is likely to be "hot as fuck" and this reviewer would love to wine her, dine her, sixty nine her."
Third draft: "Turning the pages ever more quickly I found myself pondering if the author's juices were as sweet as those of her heroine and if her fanny's muscles could squeeze a cock as tightly."
Fourth draft: "it may be a soft back but it'll give you a hard on"
Fifth draft: "some people would give this author five stars, but I'd just love to give her one"
Never laughed so much in all my life! Thankfully, he was only joking!!!! Had I not had the trust that I do for this wonderful gentleman, it would be so easy to have taken offence! Seriously these messages made my day!
I hope someone made your day too!
Love and hugs