TODAY OUR TEAM MEMBER, AUTHOR EVA BIELBY, IS SHARING HER FLASH FICTION STORY, 'HE'S GONE'

HE'S GONE!

I’m in the place where I believed my journey would end. I’ve never been here before. I’m not even sure how I managed to get here and it comes as quite a ‘bombshell’ to discover myself in exactly the place where I need to be. How have I managed to do that? I am precisely where I set my intention to be – to be with him. The shock kicks in all too soon. I sit and weep for hours. I can’t believe I’ve actually done it. I weep for those I left behind. The journey has sapped my energy and I crumple onto the boarded floor. I can’t move my arms or legs to push myself up to a standing position. I am numb. My body doesn’t feel right, my vision is fuzzy around the edges. My mind is a mess. Everything is…surreal.

After a few minutes it strikes me that in my location, an unheated attic room, I should feel cold. It is winter, after all. Before my journey began, we endured extreme snow blizzards, almost a total white-out. My body should be freezing cold, yet it isn’t. I’m not warm either, but I feel comfortable; comfortably numb. Once my tears subside, I just lie here waiting for my temporary state of paralysis to wear off, as I know it will. I didn’t realise that it would take even more hours before I could start to move again.

But at last it comes back to me – I can (sort of) feel again, to a point. Warily, I attempt to get on my knees first. I manage it, but I admit I’m shaking. Moving in a slow, deliberate crawl on my hands and knees, I head towards a pile of plastic storage containers. I use those to try to lever myself to stand up. Again, I take it slowly. I have no choice as my legs are still so weak.

I search around the place, not missing a single detail, eager and desperate to see some sign of him. There are boxes everywhere; boxes of photo albums, keepsakes, old birthday and Christmas cards, ancient letters, books, pieces of a broken chest of drawers and many souvenirs. Anything and everything you would expect to find in any attic is here in this one. There are other items too…things I don’t want to look at. I quickly avert my eyes.

I feel totally lost; out of my depth now. I thought I had my life in order; that I was strong and determined. When I was making my plans I was in absolute control. I knew exactly what I was about to do. But it’s done now. I can’t turn back time. I’m disoriented and devastated.

I keep on seeking – looking for him. I search behind each box and in every corner, my anguish increasing as the minutes pass me by.

He’s not here. He didn’t wait for me. I shuffle back to where those…those things lay in the corner; the items I didn’t want to look at just minutes ago. This is where he did it. The broken chair and the rope; the path out of his torment. He didn’t wait for me! He’s gone forever – and I 'die' for the second time.

I’d heard it said, on several occasions throughout my life, that if a couple were true ‘soulmates’, the first one to pass over would wait forever for their ‘mate’ to join them. But he's gone on...without me. Evidently, I am not ‘the one’.

**********

COMING SOON: On Sunday 29th June, we are delighted to host guest author, Helen Christina Kelly, who is sharing a chapter from her novel, 'Hold Me'.