TODAY, OUR TEAM MEMBER, AUTHOR EVA BIELBY, SHARES WITH US CHAPTER 2 OF HER NOVEL, 'THE SCARS' - FINAL PART OF 'THE HURT' TRILOGY.

CHAPTER 2

After constantly observing Ruby, coupled with checking my watch for most of the afternoon, four o’clock arrived at last. I sat next to her and saw the look of defeat in her eyes as her fingers tapped out her mother’s phone number. I recognised Heidi’s voice answer at the end of the line. Ruby put the call on loudspeaker so that I could hear her Mum’s contribution to the conversation. Whether it was a mother’s intuition I don’t know but somehow, despite hearing Heidi’s sobs at the beginning of the exchange, she did not seem to be too shocked or even phased by her daughter’s news. With Ruby’s wild reputation of late, perhaps the revelation hadn’t come as that much of a bombshell to her.

When asked by her Mum who the father was, I was startled at Ruby’s flippant reply, “Oh, just some boy I met.” In those few seconds I waited in dread of her answer in case Andrè’s name would roll off her tongue. I think I was afraid that Heidi would try to lay the guilt on me had she discovered that the said ‘boy’ happened to be my neighbour in Paris. However, I was quickly realising that Heidi was not the type to lay blame on anybody.

“I know what I need to do, Mum. I have my studying and career to think about. I can’t have a baby at my age.”

Ruby’s eyes glistened with fresh tears as she stated the obvious. Through the loudspeaker, I heard Heidi’s voice falter for a few seconds as she considered her daughter’s words.

“Is Helen there, sweetheart?”

“I’m here, Heidi. Sat right beside her.”

“I don’t know what to do, Helen. I’ve never been in a situation like this.”

I didn’t relish the thought of explaining my past indiscretion over the phone and had no intention of doing so. I um’ed and ah’ed for a few seconds before deciding on the most sensible answer I could come up with.

“Look, why don’t you come over here, Heidi? I think…I hope I may be able to help. If you’d like me to, that is?”

There was a slight hesitation from down the phone line and it struck me that she might think I was invading on what was really a mother and daughter dilemma. I glanced over at Ruby, who seemed to be cringing at the thought that her mother might come over. She gave me a resigned look and shrugged her shoulders.

“Yes, I will please, Helen. If you don’t mind? I just want to put my arms around my daughter and hug her to death.”

I leaned across towards Ruby and before handing back her mobile, I altered the status off loudspeaker. She could at least have a few private words with Heidi and give her my full address. Leaving her to it, I headed for the kitchen. I had no appetite and suspected that Ruby wouldn’t feel much like eating either so I plated up some snack food.

Two hours later…

I heard the front door bell ring downstairs, immediately followed by Ruby’s footsteps on the wood flooring in the hallway. She told me after finishing up the earlier call, that her Mum would be arriving around six o’clock, so I purposely made myself scarce so that they could have a few private moments together.

I had no desire to eavesdrop, but nevertheless I heard Ruby unlock and open the front door. Nothing but silence followed. I felt like sobbing, knowing how hard it would be for the pair of them. I could picture her crying silently on her Mum’s shoulder and Heidi in turn hugging her daughter tightly and succumbing to more tears herself.  Shortly after I heard them go through to the lounge, I could hear them talking in low voices and much as I was curious about what was being said, I also didn’t want to know. I needed a distraction for a while. For want of a better idea I undressed and headed for a shower.

The shower proved to be a good escape for a while and I relished the heat of the water. I imagined the liquid to be washing away all my troubles as I vigorously sponged every square inch of my body, taking my time and delaying the inevitable which I knew would be happening at some point soon. Heidi would want to speak with me as planned earlier. I pondered, not on Ruby’s dilemma but how I would feel when we finally met. Heidi used to be David’s wife, and she had ‘had’ David long before I knew him. It crossed my mind that I might feel jealous of her; after all, she had managed to have a life with him, something which I never got the opportunity to do. After I felt they’d had plenty of private time, I turned off the shower and towelled myself dry in a bit of a rush. I found some smart, casual clothes to wear. I needed to dry my hair and get some make-up on my face to at least try to look half-presentable. I previously saw a picture of Heidi and from what I could recall, she was a very stunning lady, though I couldn’t now picture her face.

I sat in front of the dressing table mirror in a hurry to get my face on…I didn’t want to look over made-up. Always believing that a first impression is important, I wanted to look natural. A moisturiser with a hint of foundation, some light blusher, mascara and neutral looking lipstick. I carefully monitored the results as I applied each and reasonably happy, I started to dry my hair. I had a feeling it wouldn’t be too much longer before I was summoned downstairs. As I brushed my hair, my emotions started to take over again and I could do nothing about the feeling of nausea that crept up into my stomach.

“HELEN? Are you coming down soon?” Ruby’s voice came from the bottom of the stairs.

Oh my God, this is it! David’s ex-wife is waiting to meet me!  

That’s all I could think about! Not the serious fact of Ruby’s unwanted pregnancy and possible imminent abortion…I was more worried about what David’s ex-wife, not Catherine and Ruby’s Mum but David’s ex-wife, was going to think of me!

“Two minutes, Ruby! I’m just finishing drying my hair and throwing some clothes on”. I shouted back.

Three minutes later, I was satisfied with my hair and quickly dressed in the denims and casual, classy T-shirt I got ready after I showered. I took a final look in the full-length mirror of the wardrobe; a long, deep breath and slowly headed down the stairs.

“Helen! How lovely to meet you at last.”

Heidi folded her arms around me almost as soon as I entered the living room. She hugged me fiercely and whispered in my ear. “I am so, so sorry!”

“It’s so lovely to meet you, Heidi!” Tears welled up in my eyes as I felt the warmth and compassion through her hug. “But what are you sorry for? You have nothing to be sorry for, I assure you.”

She gently pushed me back from her hug and through her own watery eyes, looked directly into mine. I was busy taking in her stunning looks; her neatly cropped blonde hair, cheekbones to die for and perfect white teeth. She was beautiful.

 “Helen, first and foremost, I’ve wanted to tell you for a while how sorry I am about David. Sorry that you found each other and he was so cruelly snatched away from you. It was heart-breaking that you didn’t actually get to be together after falling in love. When David told the girls and I about you prior to his death, my heart went out to you. And that you didn’t know until after…I can’t begin to imagine what you have been through…I…”

With another deluge flowing down my cheeks, Ruby watched the pair of us in silence and reached for the tissue box from the coffee table before offering it in our direction. I offered them to Heidi first before plucking out a couple for myself. Dabbing at my eyes, I tried to get some words out but struggled.

“But I only…” I started, then, “David was…”

Heidi quickly cut in, clearly understanding the emotions I was feeling and I tried to speak again but my mouth was opening and closing with nothing coming out.

“Please let me finish, Helen. I have other things I want to say. I want to apologise for Ruby’s behaviour when the girls came over to Paris to stay with you.”

From the corner of my blurred vision I spotted Ruby’s face. She cringed, turned scarlet with embarrassment and looked away from us.

“Oh no! Mum, don’t, please!” she begged.

Heidi ignored her.

“No, Ruby! It needs saying!” After a swift glance in Ruby’s direction, she turned to face me again. “That disgusting behaviour from Ruby was unforgiveable and I am sorry that Catherine had to cut short her visit too. She would have loved to stay…but it wasn’t possible in the circumstances. I hope you understand, Helen?”

I nodded my head.

“But we...”

“Yes, you got through it, but it was a nightmare for you and Catherine at the time. Anyway, enough about that. Thankfully, it’s in the past. I also want to offer my apologies for Ruby putting you in this position…with this…situation, for Heaven’s sake. Will you ever be able to forgive us, Helen?”

My head was spinning. A minute of high speed flashbacks; being with David, reading David’s letter, the horrendous, drunken Ruby in Paris, Catherine’s tears, André carrying her up the stairs, my conversation with Bill Douglas, Simon’s shock that I fell in love with David and that David loved me in return, Ruby arriving on my doorstep and pregnant, the revelation that André had used her…and Heidi being here, standing in front of me.

“Should I make us coffee, Helen? I think we could use some!”

Ruby looked pale and small despite her stature, her voice meek and barely audible. As quiet as she was though, it snapped me back to reality and realising that I couldn’t stand here looking… (how do I look? I feel ‘punch-drunk’). With a desperate need to do so, I took charge instantly.

“No, Ruby. I’ll do it, instead of standing here letting my emotions take over.”

I headed to the kitchen, resolving to get a grip of myself. Getting the cups and saucers in order seemed like a major task, but eventually the kettle came to the boil and I was heading back to the living room, feeling determined to get back on track to where this conversation needed to go. “So…tell me if any decisions were made while I was upstairs getting ready. What’s going to happen?”

I shot questioning looks at both Ruby and Heidi. Ruby shrugged and looked at her Mum for help, maybe hoping Heidi would step in. She obliged.

“We’ve discussed it all, Helen. We agree that the best solution is for Ruby to have a termination. Do you think the same? Please feel free to be honest as we both value your opinion, don’t we, Ruby?”

Heidi looked at Ruby with concern but also, I felt the concern was coupled with pride. I sensed that she was proud that her youngest daughter had been doing some growing up recently.

“Yes! We do.” Fresh tears gathered in Ruby’s eyes now. “Helen, I just want you to know that I am genuinely sorry for everything I have put you through…really sorry! I truly value your concern, your opinion and your advice. Dad was right about you.”

It was a beautiful compliment she paid me and I was overwhelmed with emotion. I wanted to hug her tight, but her mother’s arms were wrapped around her. I watched the pair of them together, remembering the many occasions my Mum did exactly the same for me. A mother’s love!

“Okay. I don’t know exactly how much Ruby has told you about me Heidi, but I’m going to tell you. I went through a termination a good few years ago. My parents didn’t even know about it. I organised everything myself.”

Heidi looked at me. She looked somewhat shell-shocked, mouth and eyes wide open as her daughter had done earlier. Clearly, Ruby hadn’t disclosed anything about my private life.

“By the way, my parents died in a tragic accident, not too long ago. It was before David died.”

I felt the need to explain about Mum and Dad although it wasn’t relevant to what I was trying to say. I carried on, not waiting for any input from either of them.

“I met Gavin not long after I started university and we fell in love. It wasn’t long, just months, before he moved in to my apartment. We made plans for our future together; even plans to maybe go and live in New York some day.” I sighed, a dark heaviness descending on me. “I received a call at uni one day. Dad had suffered a heart attack, so I rushed off to be with him in hospital. I stayed with Mum the whole time until he was back at home and sufficiently rested.”

I suddenly felt I needed to speed it up, as I was starting to relive the nightmare once again.

“When I returned to my apartment I let myself in and found him and my so-called best friend. At it, they were…in my apartment of all places. Unwise I know, but I quit university and returned home to live with my parents…and to get a job. I couldn’t have coped with staying where I was. A month or so later I discovered I was pregnant.”

“You didn’t need to tell us all this, Helen. That was private and your own personal Hell! But I am sorry that you went through that alone.”

The concern was there again in Heidi’s voice. It struck me again that this lady was beautiful, inside and out.

“No, I needed to tell you. The reason I couldn’t tell them is…I couldn’t bear to see the disappointment that I would have seen on their faces. What I’m trying to say when I can get the words out, is that I can help. If you want me to, that is? I went for a consultation and then later to a private hospital not far from Harley Street. I was in and out in a few hours.”

“Would you mind…really? I don’t know how to go about these things. Should Ruby see our G.P. first or not? I don’t know what to do.”

I explained to them that I hadn’t seen a G.P. I only dealt with the clinic, attended for a quick consultation and was given a date for the procedure. I’d only needed to wait for three or four days. Ruby listened with interest, and dread too I guessed. I think the assurance that there were no long delays grabbed her attention.

“You will need to call the clinic yourself, Ruby. Oh, no you won’t! You’re still under eighteen. I keep thinking of you as much older. You will need your Mum to make the appointment for you. There will also be a deposit to pay at the consultation. And I’ve no doubt your Mum will be accompanying you? I think that’s wise, just in case you’re feeling a little groggy afterwards. I was…I remember it well.”

She gave her Mum a shy look, almost apologetic, then gave me a questioning look before stating,

“I would like you to be there as well please, Helen. Would you mind?” Then she quickly asked “You don’t mind, Mum? If Helen could come too? Is that okay with you both?”

Heidi watched me carefully, awaiting my reaction. I wondered if she was hoping I would go for some moral support. I didn’t need to think twice about my reply.

“Of course I will, Ruby. But only if that is okay with your Mum.”

“Helen, of course I would like you there. You’ve been through it yourself. And if I’m totally honest, I feel a little out of my depth with this. First thing on Monday morning I will call the clinic if you can give me their number please, Helen.”

I hadn’t kept the number for the clinic. I never felt the need. After quickly thumbing through the phone book, I wrote down the number for the clinic I’d used on a ‘post-it’ and handed it to Heidi. Ruby asked if it was okay to stay with me until everything was over. She looked to her Mum for approval, and although I sensed that Heidi would have liked Ruby to go home with her, she agreed.

She left shortly after, with big hugs for Ruby and promising to call us with details on Monday after she contacted the clinic. As I was about to close the front door behind her, she turned around and smiled.

“I can see why David fell for you, Helen. I really can. Kind, warm, intelligent, caring, beautiful, compassionate…and dark. He always loved dark hair.”

She fiddled with her cropped blonde locks briefly, beamed at me, evidently amused, and she turned and walked away. I was stunned.

https://mybook.to/OBpFpPT  THE SCARS

COMING SOON: On Sunday, 8th June, our wonderful guest author, Toni Kief, shares an excerpt from her novel, 'Old Baggage'.